“Safe
sex is good sex. Consistent use of condoms helps protect both
of us from HIV and other STD’s. Because I care bout
you and myself…”
Sounds like an after school special doesn’t it…but
you do the math. If one person had an STD or (heaven forbid)
AIDS and they sleep with one person, then that one person
sleeps with multiple partners and those multiple partners…well
you get the picture. See how quickly disease spreads. It’s
something most people know but it’s still constantly
drilled into your head. However sex which you can categorize
with passion, is only one part of the love triangle between
two people. There’s also intimacy and commitment. Put
all three together and you have a relationship, and if things
are going well, it would or should be filled with devotion,
a component liking and of course attraction, support, understanding,
feelings of closeness, romance, euphoria and something very
important…COMMUNICATION.
 Although
it may be great to be in love and in a relationship things
obviously don’t always work out. There are many reasons
for ending relationship. Maybe you’re feeling stuck,
you were cheated on or unfaithful yourself, having the same
arguments without finding a resolution, you find yourself
crying all the time, some form of abuse, you’re obsessed
with the other person and they’re not. Or maybe you’re
feeling overwhelmed, a conflict in sexual desires/roles, control
issues, the list goes on. I know it’s a pretty painful
thing but if you’ve done all you can and things aren’t
really working out, what can you do. Anyways if you do decide
to leave, make the end final don’t drag things on, be
honest clear and firm…get it?
I picked all this up at a recent workshop I attended about
relationships. When I first heard of it I expected to see
a room full of predominantly females learning how to establish
a healthy relationship and remove themselves from the bad
ones. However when I got there I was surprised to see a room
full of young people; no older than I was. Gradually as things
progressed I observed the vibes bouncing through the room
as well as body language and for a minute I thought I was
back in school. It didn’t seem like they wanted to be
there and it took a while to actually get answers out them.
In the long run, it may have been a productive lesson but
it was a snowy ice-cold day, and as a matter of fact I nearly
broke my neck getting there. So after awhile, I myself wanted
things to be over soon as well.
On the surface you would have thought it was just a group
of adolescents learning about love. Then again, really looking
at the picture you’d have to ask: what would a group
of restless looking kids be doing at this hour learning about
relationships in church?!! As a matter of fact, based on some
the things mentioned in the room, you could see and pretty
much sense that these were teenagers who had obviously been
walking on a bumpy road, crossed many bridges, and maybe even
burned a few. So I decided to look more into it.
The speaker of this particular workshop’s name was Nicole
Tammelleo. She works for an organization called KAYAC (Keeping
Adolescents & Young Adults Connected) and often does workshops
and seminars teaching sex-ed, HIV prevention and risk reduction.
However, the workshop was run by The Dome Project, which stands
for Developing Opportunities for Meaningful Education. At
the end of the class I was given the opportunity of speaking
with Jaye Jones. She’s the social worker at The Dome
working for part of the juvenile justice program and it turns
out my intuition was right. The Dome Project does a lot of
work in helping kids who are at risk, have been incarcerated
or are court involved and are basically going down a dangerous
path. The workshops are held four times a month on different
topics. In addition to them, the kids can get help in their
schools (which usually work with the Dome as well) and are
also provided with court advocacy, so they have people to
back them up when society seems to be turning on them. The
Dome also does tutoring, college prep and holds “girls
only” seminars.
“…and the kids have really improved. It’s
good for them, you know, learning a new way of interacting…”
said Ms Jones.
So even if you’re not about to go to jail, the Dome
can still be of use to you. Just another in a growing list
of organizations that seem to actually care about the welfare
of our hopes for the future. Speaking from experience it’s
a comfort to know you have someone there to help you.
For more info on The DOME Project call (212) 724-1780
Located on 486 Amsterdam Avenue
New York, NY 10024
For free HIV testing and condoms call Nicole at (212) 523-1775
You can also stop by St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital @
114th and Amsterdam. Ave, Floor-Stuyvesant 7
Also check out these websites on safe sex:
Its
Your Sex Life
Teenwire
I Wanna
Know |
