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by Michael Puchades

Usually when I feel down scared or nervous I use comedy and sports as a querencia.

For example whenever I start talking to a girl I like and I can't think of anything to say, I do or say something that will make her laugh and by knowing I can make her laugh, I feel more comfortable talking to her.

I mention sports as a querencia because when I'm afraid of getting hurt physically, like in a fight, or getting jumped, I play baseball or football to roughen me up a bit.

In the winter of 1995, two friends and I were on our way to the Melrose Projects in the Bronx. While walking down third avenue and 149th Street around 6 at night, three guys pulled guns out and told us, "Get against a car." I was scared out of my skin. "Don't look at us," they said as they searched our pockets for cash. They took my ring, my watch, my Perry Ellis red, white and black windbreaker, but I didn't have any cash. Every time I walked outside after that I wondered, "Will it happen again?"

After that incident, I began playing tackle football in Jefferson Park on first Avenue and 112th Street. Getting hit and hitting others made me feel powerful. And so I lost my fear of getting hurt.

To some my querencia may sound silly, but it helps me.