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starts to unzip her dress but she refuses. He holds her hands
tightly and whispers in her ear making her know that he wants
it and he’s not going to stop until he gets it. She’s
known him for 1 year but at this moment it feels like 1 hr.
She doesn’t want to hurt him because she loves him.
She feels obligated to give him what he desires; ignoring
that promise she made to herself years before. He pulls down
her panties and this time she cannot resist. He’s too
strong, he’s too big and he won’t stop for nothing.
Date Rape is a forced sexual intercourse, which includes a
victim, and often times the person the victim is familiar
with. The fact that the victim knows the attacker makes it
difficult for the victim to identify the attacker as dangerous.
Date/Acquaintance rape accounts for 84% of all reported rapes.
Many believe that when a man gets sexually aroused he cannot
control himself. This is not exactly true because every person
can control them selves under sexual pressure.
When a female continues to say no to sex and the person forces
her to have sex anyway, then this is rape. If the attacker
says to his victim, "This is your fault," or "
if you have never wore that outfit in the first place then
nothing would have happened." This is only to make the
female feel guilty. No victim is ever responsible for their
attacker's actions. This is just an example of them trying
to take control of the victim's mind, making them think differently
about the situation, as though it was their fault.
On the other hand, females are allowed to wear whatever they
want. If she decides to wear something tight or see-through,
some guys may feel like the female only wants one thing: sex.
"In my opinion why would a girl lay it all out there
like that if she’s not thinking of something freaky?
If they want us to think any different then they have to present
themselves differently," says 17 year-old William Powell,
a student at Saint George’s High School in Rhode Island.
Even though people think that the way some females present
themselves is an issue, it still does not give the men a right
to take advantage.
When on a date, females or males should never ignore their
boyfriend or girlfriend when they touch or do anything intimate
to make them feel uncomfortable. They should speak up right
away and let the person know that they're not ready to be
intimate and they need more time to feel comfortable around
them.
Another situation is when a male tries to manipulate you into
thinking that he feels like he's not good enough for you,
and you'll never want to do anything with him because he's
ugly. He is just trying to make you feel bad for him and for
you to judge your own feelings. This is a warning sign and
should be taken into great consideration. The female/male
have to think to them selves " Is he/she trying to make
me do something I do not want to do?" If you've been
in a relationship with a person for at least one week and
already they are trying to control you, try to get out fast,
this is another warning sign.
If a person says to you " you're turning me on, come
on we have to do something." According to Scott Lind
quest a crime prevention specialist and the author of The
Date Rape Prevention book, "no one turns anyone else
on. We turn ourselves on. When someone sees anyone else and
feels sexually aroused, they have used their mind and their
thoughts to excite themselves about the person at whom they're
looking. It is also true that if you turn yourself on, you
can turn yourself off. A person is in total control of their
thoughts, feelings, and emotions."
If a female let their boy friend know that it’s not
their fault that he’s being turned on sexually, it's
likely the person will feel intimidated and might forget about
taking advantage. (The same applies for the men)
At parties a teenager may want to consider not drinking alcohol
for the night because alcohol can make them vulnerable to
attackers. They agree to things that they would not normally
do when they're sober and they feel confused. Another thing
is that if you are at a party an attacker may slip drugs into
your drink with you not even knowing.
The most popular date rape drug is called Rohypnol ( Flunitrozepam)
also known Ruffies, Roofies, La Rocha, Pooferal, Roche, R2,
Mexican ralium, Rib, Rope. The effects of this drug can cause
a person to feel dizzy, confused, and experience a loss of
judgment, all in only minutes. When drinking you may pass
out and wake up realizing what had happened. Then it would
be too late to take any action to prevent what should have
been stopped.
The fact is that alcohol is over 90 percent a significant
factor in all date and acquaintance rape on campuses. Never
let any one lure you into a private room at a party or an
empty alley if you have only known the person for a short
period of time. This is another form of manipulation on their
behalf and it is dangerous for you.
If you have strong feelings for the person still take precaution.
To prevent date rape let the person know upfront that you
don't want to have sex.
17 year-old Chevonne Byas, a student at Edward R Murrow high
school said that the most effective way to be comfortable
in your relationship and not worry about your partner’s
sexual intentions is too talk to them about it first.
"I talk to my man before it even gets close to that.
One reason is to prevent any confusion and to make sure their
intentions on being with me are good. I was never with anyone
who objected to talking about it, they usually had their own
intentions on the issue and they usually are cool with it
because they don’t want a girl who is easy to get with.
I wouldn’t want to be with someone who went with girls
who gave it up easily,” said Byas.
Another effective thing to do when at a party or social event
is to pour your own drinks or watch the person pour it for
you. You would want to always tell someone if you're going
on a date with a person you've just met. It does not have
to be you're parents, it could be a close friend or relative.
Tell them where you're going and have your cell phone or change
to keep in contact with them. You should also have money to
get home in case something happens. When invited to parties
by someone you're just met ask him or her if you could bring
a friend. This way someone you know will be there to watch
out for you.
To get more information about date/ acquaintance rape, a helpful
source is the RAINN organization whose goal is to educate
and help rape victims. There website is www.rainn.org. You
can also go to your local or school library, and health offices
at your school to get more information on this issue.
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