Bad Child: A memoir by Dominique Rhea

It's amazing how much control our parents have over us. They tell us what to do, when to do it, and how. They are the one's who teach us the ways of are world and love us as much as they can. At one time or another, we argue with our parents. When we do the something wrong, they are the ones who discipline us. When we continue to do the wrong thing, they go on and on to us wondering when we are ever going to learn. This can make us feel bad at times. But my question is, has this ever made you feel like a bad child?

In the past three years my life has changed tremendously. First, my mom got married to my stepfather. With that I also got a 15-yr old brother and 19-yr old sister. Then my little brother was born on August 14, 1998. Although my life became more hectic, those things alone didnÕt really make me feel so bad.

Before, my mother and stepfather were doing nothing but breathing down my neck. Everything I did was not good enough. Every time I would mess up they would say, "When are you going to stop acting so damn irresponsible".

All my mom did was yell at me when I did something and a lot of time it made me feel so bad I would go and cry in my room. Yet nobody knew because I didn't tell them how I felt. Whenever I did try to communicate my feelings my mom or stepfather would just turn what I said around and I'd just end up feeling stupid. If my mother yelled at me and I started crying she'd say "What are you crying about?" It felt like I wasn't allowed to cry and I was wrong to express my emotions.

Sometimes I'd sit in my room wishing. Wishing that things were different. That was then and this is now.

I've come to realize that at one time or another probably most people have felt this way. Its not that our parents purposely make us feel this way. When our parents get mad itÕs because they are disappointed. This can make us feel ashamed. But ultimately what we are feeling is not that we are a bad child but that maybe we should actually start listening to our mothers and fathers.

Maybe its time we acted a little more responsible and made less mistakes. But in return, the adults in our lives need to keep in mind that we are only kids (no matter how old we may act) and that we learn from trial and error. Bad is not what we should think of ourselves. We are just being human.

Bad Child -A Poem

You say nobody's perfect
But then I make a mistake
And so the yelling does start
Is it me that you hate?

I am the one who looks like you
The one who's most alike
But I can't see that when you scream
Cause my tears so blind my sight.

'Respect, you always give for free'
Are words you once did say
But you'd never know that
From the things you said today.

All those things you say to me
That cause my tears to hit the floor
And even if I was a bad child
Who cares cause I'm still yours.