Have you ever felt so distant and off that you would rather be locked in a cage then live in society? Have you ever been so lost in a mental maze that you think you will never come back? Imagine feeling this way every day of your life. Imagine yourself walking in my shoes.

Some people say they have rough lives and others live them. Some also have different meanings of a rough life. A rough life to someone could be a physically abusive one and to another it could be mental. From the day I lost my sister when I was four I have been living a rough mental life. I was too young to really understand what happen to my sister but what I was told and always kept in mind was that "God" decided to take my sister away. Ever since then, there have been days when I am just wandering out in space, wondering why life is the way it is. Now, keep trying to walk in my shoes.

I thought life was getting better years later. I began processing what I thought was my future. At around twelve I began playing sports. Life was great. I guess I was having to much fun... maybe you are not supposed enjoy life so much. Soon after, my so-called father removed me from every sport possible; not knowing why I went on with my life, at least I tried. My life went into a downfall after. I was getting into all this unnecessary trouble. Then I thought back to the day my sister died and thought maybe "God" chose this one too. It is not finished yet; you still have a long walk to go.

Although I thought it was over for me, life took me to another direction. I ended up graduating eighth grade with honors and finished my freshmen year with honors also. But I guess you can't be so successful in life either.   Right after my ninth grade year, my family decided to relocate. We ended up in the middle of Georgia, away from anyone we ever knew. Life there was horrible, I obviously didn't belong there. I once again got into unnecessary trouble, this time so severe I got kicked out of my house. And then I thought again maybe "God" chose this one too. Don't worry because your journey just begun. Keep walking.

Once again life took me to another direction. I soon ended up back in New York living with my uncle. Life once again was treating me pretty right. I was doing well in school again and I also got reenrolled in sports. I couldn't believe how great life was now ,but don't get me wrong, in the back of my mind I was thinking what else is "God" going to decide for me? But everything was still good; it was the complete opposite of everything. I thought "God" finally chose the right thing for me. Hold on because you still have a few steps left.

The day I stopped thinking of what could happen next life came back into its routine. Just as I thought nothing could go wrong anymore, life had a little surprise for me. I am now seventeen years old and have knowledge of something I never thought of, dreamed of, imagined, or even believed could happen to me. Remember when I introduced my so-called father, the one who removed me from sports; well he is nowback in the picture. So throughout the time I spent with my uncle and my family I continuously heard comments of my father, but it sounded nothing like the one I knew. So out of curiosity I asked one of my family members, what is the truth? Well I guess you thought your walk was over, but you still have one last step to complete your day.

So, what was the truth? Well I was told that the man I knew of as my father for seventeen years really isn't. Just as I thought life was great, it ruined me again. I was now more lost then ever.  

I guess no one will ever understand life and know what it has in store for you. Till today I am still thinking why "God" has decided to take me through such a journey and what else he has up his sleeve for this lost child.