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I was only
three
Just taking mental notes of all the things that went on
From the arguments between my parents
To the time when my parents were on the sidewalks of Fulton
My brother and I in the middle of the street
In search of which parent to run to
Lost and confused only to hear their voices saying
“Go to your dad, I’m tired of raising kids”
To-“Go to your mom, and then the mere view of my father
walking away without a concern
I even remember the time when my brother and I would argue
so much…
Mommy got tired and if it wasn’t for my grandmother
we would probably be in foster care or really given up for
adoption
Mommy was just tired…no help….and things weren’t
easy…but who should I blame…
Myself for being here, my father for not being there, or
my mother for having me?
At that time I was only three
Who would know that memories like these would leave a scar
on my heart, that would probably never heal?
Years progressed
And time went on
As I grew up, I was able to understand
Although mommy said people make mistakes
I just couldn’t understand why he wasn’t a real
man
Why, why, why
He couldn’t live up to his word
His love wasn’t true
Because what he said didn’t really matter if his actions
couldn’t back him up
But today I hear give him another chance
He’s your father, he loves you
But “I love you” is the same line he said the
night before my 5th grade graduation,
And then didn’t even show up…
Tears flowing-heart broken
And my heads against the ground….
But give him another chance…
U sure? Just try.
I can’t—its not within me…
Its not even a thought….and all I think is why….
How many chances do you offer a person before you say that’s
it….and realize that there love is really denial…Struggles
come and she is doing the best for us
She’s been a single parent- forever as it seems
Stuggling! But she makes the best of what she has..and what
she gets
In my search for identity
In my search for who I really love..
What do I found, where am I?
Its hurts me
But then it hurts me to know that you’ve been absent
from my life for a while…
And you expect me to jump, run and move quicker
When you ready to start making moves
I know two wrongs don’t make a right
But what do I just do about the memories that I’ve
held for endless nights
There’s no words---just demands of how I should react
to you…
Your not my father- mommy has always been my parents counted
as two
To be continued!….
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