Unscripted teens: Hooking up & Online dating

    It seems like it was just yesterday that my 14 year-old step-brother and I were looking at teen pictures and joking about them after seeing them on these ridiculous online dating sites. Now, my brother is the butt of someone else's joke, thanks to this online dating site called Localhookupz.com. Localhookupz.com lets you search for people from the ages of 13 to the ages of 99. 

    Then only 13 years old, I recall my younger brother bringing home a 14 year-old girl, when I asked him where they met he told me, "remember that site we were on last night"?

    Online dating has become widely popular, especially amongst the teen demographic. Why do teens turn to the internet to date? Is it a form of saying, "I'm desperate?" Is it because teens are now obsessing over being single in the future? Is it just curiousity? There's a new term that wanders about, and its called "hooking up."

For some "hooking up," is trying to find love. For others "hooking up," is a booty call. So, that only leaves "hooking up," to have nothing more then two options: score lucky or [ahem] get lucky.

So, what's all the fuss about online dating anyways?

What's great about meeting someone online? Well, I wanted to explore it myself, so I decided to check out localhookupz.com and talk to teens about the stitch on online dating. Here are some excerpts from a couple of conversations I had with some people on the site.

STRAIGHT GIRL, 16

ME: What is hooking up?

Her: meeting or going out

ME: never sex?

Her: i guess it could but not usually i dont think

ME: Have you ever hooked up online?

Her: no

ME: Have you ever dated online?

Her: yes

Me: How long did it last?

Her: 2 months

ME: Why did you guys not "hook up"?

Her: distance

Me: Do you think online dating is more common in the homosexual community or in the heterosexual community?

Her: it is probably more common amongst nerds

Her: regardless of sexuality

ME: Why nerds? And, by nerds you mean...

Her: i mean people lacking social skills needed to pick up a date

ME: How about the other ones that don't lack social skills, why are they dating online?

Her: addicted to the computer

ME: Ok, why did you begin online dating?

Her: bored

Gay teen, 15

ME: what is hooking up?

Him: ummm...meeting in person with someone you've been speaking to online...

ME: So, does hooking up only happen online?

Him: no....phone...clubs...school...work...anywhere

ME: have u ever hooked up whether online or anywhere else?

Him: ummm...once...had a bad experience...and I'm a little iffy about it now

ME: can u share it?

Him: ummm ...it was this guy...an--gel...we spoke for a little while then we met up had sex...he dumped me...then 2 years later he calls me for a booty call i give him some head he fingers me and i dump him i dont look online for sex anymore

ME: How long did it last? Was it a relationship?

Him: umm 2 weeks .....broke up.....then booty call

ME: so after you guys broke up you still hooked up?

Him: 2 years after we broke up we only hooked up twice

ME: so why do teens turn now to the internet to hookup is it for relationship? sex? boredom? Just desperate? or just curiousness?

Him: ummm...behind a screen its easier, i guess for me

It's boredom ?? and just new friends. no more sex only that once...twice

ME: so are you still online meeting new people to hook

up?

Him: umm...not really no

ME: So nothing ever came out good for you when online dating?

Him: for the one time...no but in a way yeah it made me grow stronger

ME: stronger in what way?

Him: umm...emotionally spiritually physically

ME: How many teens you know hook up?

Him: ummm.....3-4

ME: Is hooking up more common in the homosexual or heterosexual community?

Him: i think in the homosexual community

ME: why is that?

Him: i know and hear more about my glbt friends hooking up

ME: where do they hook up

Him: umm myspace...chatrooms...matching website things

ME: how about school and in the streets?

Him: umm i dont hang in the streets...school sometimes...yes like friends wanna take it to the next level or theyre just horny

ME: Is hooking up on the web ever long term

Him: ummm...yes my brother has been talking to his

bf for 3-4 years

ME: Talking as in?

Him: phone and IM [instant messenger] mostly phone

ME: They never met?

Him: umm no not that i know of, probably not

My step-brother and the girl whom he met online are no longer dating, but when my brother comes to visit New York City they meet up from time to time. My brother, has revealed to me that he has had sex with her a numerous amount of times, but when he first met her online that was the last thing he was looking for.

My older brother met a girl online about a year ago and they are still going strong together. So, online dating and hooking up is nonetheless about meeting new people.

I asked the gay teen I interviewed to give me specifics on how he grew emotionally stronger, physically, and spiritually stronger. Here's what he emailed me;

i grew emotionally stronger because i treasured my

body...and emotions...physically....after him i felt "dirrty" and gross...and touched....after that i started working out like crazy losing massive amounts of weight...(I was very overweight as a child...well i thought so)and i started to find myself "worthy" of my own expectations.