BIASES: mid 20s black male; frustrated screenwriter who favors action, comedy, and glossy, big budget movies over indie flicks, kiddie flicks, and weepy Merchant Ivory fare

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Bandits
MOVIE BIASES: Cutesy trailer, cutesy premise, and stellar advance reviews. Can it live up to its own hype?
MAJOR PLAYERS: Bruce Willis (Armageddon), Billy Bob Thornton (Pushing Tin), Cate Blanchett (The Gift), and director Barry Levinson (An Everlasting Piece)..

Ever had bad Chinese food? You know, the kind that you eat and then two hours later you're hungry again? Yep, you guessed it - "Bandits" is like bad Chinese food. Despite a quirky, interesting script and capable direction, "Bandits" will leave you hungry for something more filling.

Escaped convicts Joe (Willis) and Terry (Thornton) are a mismatched dynamic duo. Joe has anger management problems, even though he's smooth with the ladies while Terry has a tick and a phobia for every known eccentricity known to man. When they stumble onto their true calling of bank robbing - by going to the home of the bank manager the night before and holding him "hostage" for the night - Joe and Terry, along with their dimwitted wheel man Troy (Troy Garity), gain notoriety for being the "Sleepover Bandits." They are well on their way to financing Joe's dream - building an Acapulco resort - until a woman (Blanchett) fouls everything up.

"Bandits" has all the affability of a short term temp worker - you know they're working, but not very hard. I get the same feel about this movie. It's an odd amalgam of eccentricities, screwball situational comedy, and a three-way love story. The acting is fine from all parties, with Willis oozing charm, Thornton his nervous, brainy energy, and Blanchett transferring her fragile, unusual self to the audience. The characters were written appropriately quirky enough, believable enough, but I still get the sense that something's missing.

How about the laughs? This isn't a bad movie. It's just not a great movie. It's not a gutbusting, lose-control-of-bodily-functions type movie. It's just not. I chuckled a few times, smiled at some crazy situations, and smirked at minor points of the script's predictability. The preview audience - mostly older white people - weren't feeling it either. With this tremendous setup, decent script, and capable director, this movie should have been so much funnier. You get the sense that this is a movie that never lived up to its potential. Potential sucks unless it is realized. And so does "Bandits," reminding me just how hungry I am two hours later.

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