Black Knight
reviewed by: ReelReviewz@aol.com

MOVIE BIASES: Looks like another high-priced, Martin Lawrence coonfest.

MAJOR PLAYERS: Martin Lawrence (Blue Streak), Tom Wilkinson (The Patriot), writer Darryl J. Quarles (Big Momma's House), and director Gil Junger (10 Things I Hate About You).

When was the last time Martin Lawrence was funny? Take a long second to think about that one. The closest thing to it was his amusing turn in "Blue Streak," but more honestly, Martin was last funny in 1999's "Life" with Eddie Murphy. Funny thing is that Martin has NOT been genuinely funny since he started making eight figures per movie (he earned $8.5 mil for "Life"). Not coincidentally, Martin has starred in a lot of high-concept, low comedy crap ever since. "Black Knight" does not break this tradition - and I am mad as hell about it.

Plot? We don't need no stinkin' plot! Basically what you see is what you get in this sorry excuse for a movie. The trailers have all of the best parts of this flick, which is like saying novocaine is the best part of a root canal. Jamal (Lawrence) is an underachieving worker at a medieval theme park who becomes magically transported to 14th century England. Cultures cross, hijinks ensue, Jamal learns honor, courage, and responsibility en route to becoming a hero.

And I could give a damn. Martin no longer represents the fun-loving, hysterically funny, down-to-earth brotha ("from the fifth flo'") - he represents artistic bankruptcy at its highest. As his salary has risen (What's the Worst That Could Happen - $13 mil, Black Knight - $16.5 mil, the upcoming National Security - $20 mil) his standards have dropped. I know there are a lot of crappy roles for black actors in Hollywood today. I'm a screenwriter; I wade through the dreck every day. But the (alleged) artist should be held accountable when he has as much juice as Martin does. The artist doesn't have a responsibility to the people unless he accepts it but, man, be responsible for yourself! Start to give a damn, Martin! It is SO obvious that you didn't in this movie!

Hell, no one did. This movie is as unfunny a chore as anyone will have to suffer through this year. The sorry, witless jokes are so painfully obvious, Stevie Wonder can see them coming two time zones away. The shocking lack of creativity by writer Darryl J. Quarles and company (okay, not so shocking - this is the same guy who brought us hot garbage like "Big Momma's House") reaches new lows by covering a myriad of great lines, including the particularly awful "Ask not what you can do for your fiefdom…" (Get the picture??). Without even so much as a spine of a script to help him out, Martin slides back into his recent comfort zone, that of being a cooning, check-cashing buffoon. Combine that with the fact that somewhat successful sitcom director Gil Junger still doesn't seem to have what it takes to make a fully realized feature comedy work and we have a 95 minute reason for EVERYONE to be mad.

I am sorry, Martin, but I will no longer finance your latest habit. I will no longer pay my hard-earned money to watch you to uncharismatically coon and be abysmally unfunny when I can watch you be funny for free ("Martin" IS in syndication, y'all). Not until you get it together ("Blue Streak 2"? "Bad Boys 2," perhaps?) will I support your blasé, soulless, O.J. Simpson-like affront on Hollywood superstardom by paying MY money to watch a creative sellout in action. I am boycotting you, Martin! I am boycotting you until you get back to being GOOD. I highly suggest y'all do the same.

@@@ REELS (THREE REELS)
It's pretty hot - go give it a shot.
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*****THE REEL DEAL: Reviewz from the Street*****
BIASES: mid 20s black male; frustrated screenwriter who favors action, comedy, and glossy, big budget movies over indie flicks, kiddie flicks, and weepy Merchant Ivory fare
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