EVOLUTION
review by: ReelReviewz@aol.com | by: Michael Popo

MOVIE BIASES: Looks dumb. But I'm pulling forOrlando.
MAJOR PLAYERS: David Duchovny (The X-Files),Orlando Jones (Double Take), Seann William Scott (American Pie), Julianne Moore(Hannibal), and director Ivan Reitman (Analyze This).

David Duchovny is a mystery to me. In asense, so is Orlando Jones. The only mystery about Seann William Scott is whenwill he stop playing variations of the same character? What all three of theseactors have in common is another mystery: when will they all step up theevolutionary chain as actors? But here's the biggest mystery of all: where didall the laughs go in "Evolution"?

When dunderheaded firefighter wannabe WayneGray (Scott) is almost torched by a random meteor landing in the Arizonadesert, community college scientists Ira Kane (Duchovny) and Harry Block(Jones) go out to investigate. What they find is a rapidly evolving alienspecies, which covers millions of years of evolution in the space of days. Ofcourse, the military gets involved because that's what they do, spearheaded byice queen CDC scientist Dr. Reed (Moore), knocking Harry and Ira off theproject. But when this alien species starts evolving and reproducing at ratesnot even the army or the scientists can control, the fate of the world as weknow it is at stake.

And this is supposed to be funny. Well DavidDuchovny is not – but when has he ever been? Hell, when has he ever ACTED? Anacting teacher of mine once said that watching Duchovny "acting" is astudy in underacting. If I could get an emotion out of him, that would be afirst. His deadpan style of "acting" simply does not work in comedy,especially one with such flat one-liners already scripted. The enigma that isOrlando Jones' big screen career continues. I'm still waiting, along with therest of Hollywood, for that one breakout role that measures up to his hugecomic potential. But potential sucks unless it's realized. Scott, on the otherhand, has abused his comic potential by playing too many variations on AmericanPie's Steve Stifler. In this one, Stifler plays aspiring firefighter/poolmanager (insert mild chuckle here). And the multitalented Julianne Moore, whohas already proven in her career to be able to play anything, is utterlywasted, forced to react to Duchovny's low-key blandness as his romanticinterest. There's about as much chemistry between the two of them as betweencats and dogs.

But I'm especially disappointed in IvanReitman. This is the man who brought us "Ghostbusters" and"Analyze This!" While the special effects are appropriately creepy(the little monsters do scare the heck outta you), there really aren't anylaughs in this movie. Check that – I laughed six times (I counted). Forgive meif I stopped finding flatulence jokes funny past the age of 12, but if you do,this is your movie. Backed by a limp script with a great idea, and actors whoseown mysteries preclude this movie from being funny, "Evolution" has ahuge missing link. Comedy.

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BIASES: mid 20s black male; frustratedscreenwriter who favors action, comedy, and glossy, big budget movies overindie flicks, kiddie flicks, and weepy Merchant Ivory fare

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