Glitter

Starring: Mariah Carey
reviewed by: ReelReviewz@aol.com

Just the fact that I saw this movie six days ago and am just now "inspired" to write a review should tell you all you need to know. Buckle up…

Set in 1983, Billie Frank (Carey) is a struggling backup singer/dancer until star record producer Timothy Walker (Howard) recruits her and her girls Roxanne (Tia Texada) and Louise (Da Brat) to sing back up for a talentless, tone-deaf R&B star (Padma Lakshmi). After a popular club DJ named Dice (Beesley) hears her sing, he brokers a shady arrangement to buy her out from Walker for 100 grand so he can produce her on his own. Naturally, Dice and Billie fall in love, move in together, and watch her star rise to, eventually, eclipse his. As Billie grows into the role of Mariah Carey - I mean diva - will Dice be able to handle being the backup to Billie's main act?

For as bad as this movie was, it could have been worse. But not by much. Vondie Curtis-Hall deserves a much better movie to showcase his talents. As a director, he keeps it interesting and moving with oddly exciting jump cuts and inventive angles to tell his story. Too bad there's not much of a story to tell. The script is borderline awful. No, my bad - that's like saying someone's "kinda pregnant." Let's be real - this script sucks. Kate Lanier, who once upon a time scripted the powerful "What's Love Got to Do with It?" seems to be treading water in her "The Mod Squad" mode. Allegedly a British acting star, Beesley's convincing performance as an attitudinal New York Svengali of a producer (ahem, Tommy Mottola) is wasted thanks to trite dialogue and plot contrivances that are telegraphed a mile away. REEL DEAL Crush Tia Texada (Nurse Betty) is shoehorned into a one-note caricature of a ghetto fabulous character who is only concerned with "showing off what I got." Tia, this was a waste of your time, babe. Enjoy the check, though.

But, of course, this is Mariah's autobiography, I mean movie. Mariah's not bad, but she's not great either. A couple of times she gets blown off the screen by the seasoned Beesley and the villainously smooth Howard, but it's not like she's unwatchable. In fact, Mariah is VERY watchable. That's part of the problem. Since she's been unshackled from her ex-husband, in almost every video, TV appearance, or public opportunity, Mariah's been running around like a department store mannequin with its clothes off. Look, Mariah, we realize that you're making up for your lost early 20s by prancing around like an extra from a Dr. Dre video. But must you remind us of that in your first STARRING vehicle? Now I'm a man who has LOVED (looking at) Mariah since "Vision of Love," and if I'M distracted by her wardrobe (or lack thereof) then there's a problem. Apparently, Mariah has no sense of irony either, as Dice dresses her down (so to speak) about her scantily clad wardrobe, calling her out for looking like a tramp. Despite her vacuous explanations, we're inclined to agree with him. Dodging the whole multiracial aspect of "Billie's" background like she would a press junket for this film, Mariah ducks any complexity and depth her character would otherwise have. We know that all that "Glitters" sure isn't gold; not even a half-naked Mariah gets tickets sold.

@@ REELS (THREE REELS)
It's pretty hot - go give it a shot.
Like what you read? Agree/disagree with The Reel Deal?
Think he's talkin' out his...HUSH YO' MOUF! (I'm only talkin' about The Reel Deal!) Email him at ReelReviewz@aol.com!
© 2001, THE REEL DEAL

*****THE REEL DEAL: Reviewz from the Street*****
BIASES: mid 20s black male; frustrated screenwriter who favors action, comedy, and glossy, big budget movies over indie flicks, kiddie flicks, and weepy Merchant Ivory fare
Missed a review?
Support those that support THE REEL DEAL - check out all reviews at HBCUnetwork.com!